Cool Heads Take A Dive

Three young women from Manitoba were recently killed.

The accident was freakish and tragic; they were in North Dakota for a softball tournament. All three girls were avid players. They took a night off and went for a drive in the countryside. Being unfamiliar with the area, they took a wrong turn somewhere and suddenly found themselves sinking into a river. They had accidentally driven their car into a slough.

The girls panicked, and one of them frantically dug for her cell phone. She called her friend (who was in Canada at the time). The friend was unable to make out what she was saying, and the connection was lost. The girl in the car tried again, and this time her Canadian friend was able to make out something about ‘water’ before the line cut out again.

All three girls ultimately drowned, in the car, with the windows up and the doors closed.

My sympathy goes out to the families of these women; there is nothing harder to endure than the tragic, unnecessary death of a loved one with unlimited potential.

The accident got me thinking, though, about how people respond under stress. It would seem that the ability to keep a cool head in a crisis is getting to be in shorter and shorter supply, just like common sense.

I think this is due to the example people see when they are growing up. I was blessed with a family of strong, intelligent women who do not suffer bullshit and will turn into fire-breathing dragons when it comes time to protect their own.

For example: my mother. Many years ago, before 9/11, she was flying home after an extended visit with my grandmother. She was flying on my ticket. (I had used hers earlier in the month). Naturally, on the first flight of the journey, the landing gear failed to lock on the plane. The pilots were unable to determine if the gear itself was faulty or if it was just a bad indicator light in the cockpit. The tower couldn’t figure it out, either, so the plane spent two hours flying in circles to expend excess fuel. EMS lined the auxiliary runway, and everyone had to land in the ‘brace’ position you see illustrated on the airplane magazines that no one reads.

In this circumstance, legitimately thinking that she was approaching her own death, what did my mother do? She put her passport into her front pocket, so that when the police identified her body and called my father they would know that it was her, and not me, who was dead.

Another example: my aunt. Much like the families of the girls I mentioned at the beginning, my aunt has endured a tragedy. Her beautiful, talented, 18-year-old daughter collapsed and died from a previously undiagnosed illness in her dorm room two years ago. Our family at the time was scattered all over – people were flying in from the four corners of the globe and it was a chaotic mess of pain and hellish reality.

What did my aunt do, when faced with the sudden death of her only daughter? She immediately started writing lists of things for people to do, contacting funeral services and delegating work. She was clearly in more mental anguish than should be possible for a person to endure, but she never once lost her composure, even when those around her did.

I’m not writing this to brag. Nor am I writing it to suggest the proper way to deal with the death of a loved one. I’m writing this to lament that more positive examples aren’t being set for young women when it comes to thinking clearly and acting decisively.

Think about those girls; they were in the water long enough to realize what had happened, fish around for their cell phone, and make not one but TWO calls. Now, I’ve never found myself in a car suddenly submerged to the windshield in water, but I’d like to think that my first response would be to GET THE FUCK OUT IMMEDIATELY. Not dig for my purse. Not call some random asshole in another country.

People might read this and think, Oh, sure…easy to think clearly when you’re in the comfort of your own home. Well, yes it is. But I still think I’d act more appropriately. Not because I have nerves of steel, but because the women who raised me taught me that panicking and losing control is never going to solve a thing.

So for all of you reading this, for Christ’s sake, don’t make a phone call from a sinking ship hoping to bring someone to your rescue…rescue yourself and then call your insurance agent.